一． Leading in
T: In this class we are going to talk about how to write a good composition, or how to make your composition better so as to get a good mark in a examination especially in the National College Entrance Examination.
T: First, please look at two groups of the sentences on the blackboard. Compare :Write the sentences on the blackboard. 1. A: The rat got drunk.
B: Then he took a stick in his hand and started to attack a cat. 2. A: Tom is a boy.
B: He is seven years old.
C: He was watching TV in the living room when he heard a terrible noise. D: Then he rushed out immediately.
E: At last he found it was just a daydream.
T: Well, please tell me what you think of these sentences. How do you judge them? They seem to be ... funny? Just funny?
Please judge them from the angle of the sentence structure. They seem to be... Yes ,simple .
If you use such sentences in your composition in the coming National College Entrance Examination , do you think you can get a good mark?
No, certainly not.
T: Now please join the sentences in each group to make one better sentence. You may work in pairs, or in groups.
Then I’ ll ask some of you to report your answers.
T: OK, I‟m glad that you‟ve thought actively and had a heat discussion. Please have a look at my answer （write the answer on the blackboard.）
Blackboard: 1. With a stick in his hand, the rat, who got drunk, started to attack a cat.
2. Hearing a terrible noise, Tom, a seven-year-old boy ,who was watching TV in
the living room, rushed out immediately, only to find it was a daydream.
二． Grammar
T: Compared with the previous ones, which seem to be better?
If your composition is short, simple or plain, do you know how to make it natural, logical and different from others so as to attract the readers, especially the examiner . That is exactly what we are going to talk about in this class.
如何使书面表达 显出文采；展示个性；亮而出众
（一）Try to avoid mistakes
T: Please correct the following mistakes which might usually appear in your composition. A: “缺胳膊少腿”型：
（1）( 缺少主语)： But was 6 o’clock.(was前加it )
T : Let‟s look at the first one .What‟s wrong with this sentence ? Right .It‟s lack of subject and we should put “it” in front of “was”.
（2）( 缺少谓语)：However, other students against the idea. (against前加are)
T: What about the second one ? Good . It‟s lack of predicate we should put “are” before “against”.
（3）( 缺少宾语 )：He seated on the grass.(seated后加 “himself” 或在”seated”前加
“was”)
T: How about the third one ? What‟s wrong with it ? Terrific . It‟s lack of object .Who‟d like to tell us how to correct it ? Very good. We should put “himself” before “on ”.Or we can put “was” in front of “seated”. B：“画蛇添足”型：( pair work )
T: Next ,please have a look at the following sentences and try your best correct each of them . You may work in pairs . Then let’s check the answers together . （1） 语意重复：He returned back yesterday.(back)
T: How to correct this one ? Right ,the word “back” should be omitted .
（2） 谓语重复：But there are 60% of the students are against the idea of entrance fee. (去掉there are,或在 are 前加关系代词who;)
T: Now let’s come to the second one . What do you think we should do to correct this sentence ? Quite right ,“there are” should be omitted or we can add “who” before the second “are”.
（3） 多宾语（或宾语不恰当）：He dressed his clothes quickly. (去掉his clothes，或把his
clothes 改为 himself;)
T: How to correct the last one ? Well done. We can omit “his clothes” or use “himself ” to replace “his clothes ”. C. “张冠李戴”型：
1)．误用主语。Don‟t worry. Your body will get well soon. (your body→you )
T: OK .Please look at the first sentence . Who‟d like to tell us how to correct it? Volunteers! Right ,in the second sentence the subject is misused .We should use –“you” to replace “your body” .
2)． 误用谓语。The time past quickly. (past→passed)
T: How to correct this one ? Right ,the word “past” is wrong .It‟s the PP. form of “pass” , so it can‟t be used as predicate here .It should be replaced by –“passed” .
3). 误用宾语. I was so pleased to hear from your letter. (your letter→you; hear from----receive)
T :Let’s come to the third one . In this sentence ,the Object “your letter” is misused .The correct form should be ---- Yes , “you” .Or ,we can use “receive” instead of “hear from”. 4). 误用表语. The price of my car is very expensive. (expensive→high) T: How to correct this one ? Right, The price is “high” but not “expensive” 5). 误用定语. China has a more population than Japan. (more→larger )
T: How about the fifth one ? Right, “population” should be modified by “larger” but not “ more”.
6). 误用介词. The thief ran away to the direction of the coast. ( to→in)
T: Now ,let’s have a look at the last one . What do you think we should do to correct this sentence ? Quite right ,the prep. “to” is wrong .The correct form should be “in”. “ In the
direction of” is a fixed structure . D. “Chinglish.”型。( Class work ) Eg ．高考: “High exam”
T: Next , let’s take a look at this phrase . Is it right ? This is a typical “Chinglish.”The correct form is National College Entrance Examination .
T: Please look at the following sentences and judge whether they are standard English .If not ,please give the correct form .You may discuss in pairs for a moment .Then let’s check the answer . 1）．The hope of our parents is very high. （→Our parents expect too much of us。）T: The correct form should be--- Our parents expect too much of us。 2）．His right eye is blind. （→He is blind in the right eye。）
T: How to correct this one ? The correct form should be-----He is blind in the right eye。 E．“瞻前不顾后”型。( Individual work ) 1)．Although he was very tired ，but he went on working in the office.（→Although， but either one is OK）
T: How to correct this one ?Volunteer ! Right, “Although” or “but” either one is OK.
2)．On one hand ，60% of the students are against the idea，but 40% of the students think it is reasonable。（→but 后加On the other hand 与前面的 On one hand 对应）
T : Please have a look at the second sentence .Who can tell us how to correct it ? Excellent work.在“ –but” 后加“On the other hand” 与前面的 “On one hand” 对应 This is a fixed structure “On one hand… On the other hand.” F．“生搬硬套” 型。
There used to have an old church here.（have→ be）
T : Please look at this sentence. The correct form should be: There used to be…… ●*Judge whether the following sentences are right or not.
a. The old lady had three sons, all of them killed in the war.(Right,独立主格结构 ) b. Although he was very tired ，yet he went on working in the office . (Right)
T: What about the second one ? Volunteers ! It’s also right .Although不可与but 连用，但可与yet连用。
（二）Try to use complex sentences (Class work )
(Encourage the Ss to join the sentences together to make one sentence in alternative ways.) T: Please join the following two sentences to make complex sentences in alternative ways . This is class work . Let’s work together .First ,please look the following carefully and think actively .
T: Ok .The first one ..
The little boy knows so many things。 It surprises him。 1)、Use so-----that
→The little boy knows so many things that he feels surprised . 2)、强调句。
→It is that the little boy knows so many things that surprises him。 3)、Attr. Clause.
→The little boy knows so many things which surprises him。
4)、N---Clause. (There are two possible ways .)
→① What surprises him is that the girl knows so many things. → ② That the girl knows so many things surprise him.
（三）Try to use different sentence structures or complicated structures ( Individual work )
Try to use “v-ing. pp. inf. prep-phrase”, used as adverbial or “inversion” ,“ independent element” ,“Exclamatory sentences” to make your composition better and different from others ,so as to attract the readers especially the examinators. Practice .
按括号中的要求改写下列各句。
T: Please go through the Qs quickly and try to think of the correct answers . Who’d like to have a try ? Volunteer !
1）.They sang and laughed as they went back home. (Use --- ing form) →Singing and laughing, they went back home.
2）. (Use PP.)The teacher walked out of the lab and many students followed her. →Followed by many students, the teacher walked out of the lab.
The woman doctor came into the ward and two men nurses followed her. → Followed by two men nurses, the woman doctor came into the ward. 3）. (Use prep.)I passed the English exam because of your help. →But/Without your help, I couldn’t have passed the English exam. 4）. (Compound sentence)
If you study harder, you will keep up with your classmates.→ Study harder and you will keep up with your classmates.
5）(Inversion) A . I could hardly believe it. →Hardly could I believe it.
B .The door opened and a woman came in. She was Bob‟s wife. → The door opened and in came a woman, who was Bob’s wife.
C .Although she is a girl, she knows a lot about the world. → Girl as she is, she knows a lot about the world.
（四）Try to use transitional words, which can make your composition natural and logical.
T: If your composition is short ,simple and plain , try to use proper transitional words. They can help to make your composition natural , logical and different from others . 满分作文都有个共性就是有效地使用了语句间的连接成分，使全文结构紧凑。文章的连贯性和紧凑感是很重要的。作为最小的语言表意单位的句子如果只是被随意的整合，是无法达到有效表达的目的。常见的句子之间的连接手段有：使用代词指代上一句中的名词；重复使用上一句中的词；使用连接词；使用平行结构。 常用的过渡词语有：
T: Please go through the following words and phrases quickly and make sure you can understand each word and phrase. And then learn them by heart .
1)表示起始above all，first of all，at all，etc。
2)表示时间 since then， at last，;soon after ; before; later ; and then ; next ;finally ; afterwards. as soon as，the next moment，in the past，now，in the future etc。 3)表示空间 in the center of，in the middle of，at the foot /top（of），on the right/left，on one side of ，on the other side of etc。
4)表示顺序for the first time， first，then ;finally，the former，the latter，etc。
5)表示递进 what‟s more, what‟s better , besides, even, moreover, furthermore ;in addition ,etc. 6)表示并列或选择and，or，as well，as well as，both---and，either---or，neither---nor，some---others otherwise etc。
7)表示转折 but，however，on the contrary，instead，yet; in spite of ; etc。
8)表示因果 so，therefore，for，as a result，because of，due to，owing to，thanks to etc。 9)表示列举 for example，for instance，that is ; namely ; such as，and so on etc。
10)表示总结after all ; in a word，in short，in all in general ; generally speaking , etc。 11)表示程度 above all，first of all，at all，etc。
12)表示对比 while，on one hand，on the other hand etc。 13)表示解释说明 that is （to say），in other words etc。
14)表示条件as long as，if，on condition (that)，otherwise，unless，etc.
15)表示目的for this purpose，in order that，in order to，so as to，so that，etc.
16)表示陈述事实actually，after all，as a matter of fact，as far as I know，in fact，etc.
Practice.
请用合适的并列连词把每组句子合并为一个并列句。( Individual work )
T: Please join the two parts to make a compound sentence, using a proper transitional word . Who’d like to have a try ? Volunteer ! 1).He was tired. He went to bed.
→He was tired, so he went to bed. 2).The child hid behind his mother's skirt. He was afraid of the dog.
→The child hid behind his mother's skirt, for he was afraid of the dog. 3).He made a promise. He didn‟t keep it.
→He made a promise, but he didn’t keep it.
2. Complete the following passage , using proper transitional words. (Class work ) T: Is the following passage a good composition ?What is lack of ? Right transitional words. Please complete the following passage , using proper transitional words. You may work in pairs or in groups .Then ,I’ll show you the answer .
It is known to us all that some student cheat in examination at school.
As student, we often take examinations at school,___1__ sometimes we have too many examinations which are too difficult for us._____2_____, some of us are lazy and don‟t work hard at their lessons. _3_ when taking examinations, they sometimes cheat in order to get better result to please their parents and teachers.
____4____, it is wrong to cheat in examinations __5___ it breaks the rules of schools. We students should be honest and try to get good results by studying hard ___6____ cheating in
examinations. ____7____, we should improve our study methods and get well prepared for examinations.
Answers :1. but 2.On the other hand 3.So 4.In my opinion 5.because 6.instead of 7.What’s more
（五）Try to use advanced words (Class work )
Eg. in the end-----eventually
T: Try to use advanced words to replace the word(s) in bold. Let’s work together .Please look at the screen .
( Show the following on the screen .)
1.Richard„s wife came back home after the advanced training class ，feeling very tired。 （exhausted）
2. I used to do a lot of homework even at weekends.
----I used to have to work even at weekends doing endless homework.
3. He didn’t listen to what I said in the class.
---- He turned a deaf ear to what I said in the class.
（六）巧用小词、短句 (Class work )
如：cut 可以和不同的介词及副词表达多种不同的含义，正确、恰当使用可使你的作文生动、生辉。
( Show the following on the screen .)
E. g. One day ,on my way to work ,I met a woodcutter, who was cutting down(砍倒)a tree by the road . We greeted to each other when I passed by . My job was to build a railway in a
mountainous areas and today we had to cut a tunnel through a mountain (开凿出一条隧道) . But we were just about to start when the electricity was cut off（ 切断）. And when I went back home I met the woodcutter once again .He was now standing by a fallen tree ,cutting it up（劈碎）.I stopped and we started chatting ,when a stranger cut in（插嘴）. 如能巧短句，其效果可胜过千言万语。 E. g. What a day (boy )!
How nice ! etc . （七）避生就熟，进行“曲线”表达
巧用思维拐弯法。当表达某一意思有困难时，巧用常用词语或自己熟悉的词语来进行表达，可达到同样效果，又可避免出错。在表达过程中，应选用自己熟悉的和有把握的词汇及句型，千万不能自己去创造或生搬硬套汉语式的句子。如果遇到确实难以回避的内容，一时又想不起确切的表达法，那就要“拐弯抹角”地去表达，尽量找同义或近义的词语或句型来代替，英语有句谚语：“All roads lead to Rome.”这样既可节约时 间又可避免犯大的错误。
Please think: How to say “人山人海”in English ? Eg. 1．“是公众休闲的地方。”
既可用复合句：People need a place where they can rest and enjoy themselves.
也可用简单句：People need a place to have a rest and enjoy themselves.或：Park is a good place for people to relax and enjoy themselves in. “游客纷至沓来”
⑴A large number of visitors come here.
⑵There are lots of visitors coming here every day. ⑶Many people visit here every day.
⑷A lot of people pay a visit here every day.
（八）多种表达法交替使用
如：喜欢 可以用like ,love ,enjoy ,be fond of ,be into ,be keen on ,take to ,go in for ,go for ,My favourite …is 等多种方式表示，可避免重复，单调，显出你具有较强的驾驭语言的能力。 Practice . 一句多译
Put the following sentence into English in alternative ways . 一到家，我就把所见到的一切都记了下来。
T: Please put the sentence into English, using as many structures as you can .For
example ,we can use Prep. +v -ing , conjunction and so on . Ok ,put your answers on your exercise book .
Then I’ll ask some you to report your answers . Are you clear ? Suggested answers :
On/Upon arriving home, I wrote down everything I had seen. As soon as I arrived home, I wrote down everything I had seen.
The moment/ The instant I arrived home ,I wrote down everything I had seen. Hardly had I arrived home when I wrote down everything I had seen. No sooner had I arrived home than I wrote down everything I had seen.
三．书面表达六步法
书面表达 审 抓 扩 审题：明确体裁，掌握格式 文字信息；图画信息；题材、人称、时态、要点 抓住要点，一 一对应。以词及点：用一两个单词或短语写出每句话的细节要点。 选词造句，点石成金。 联词成句：用联词成句的方法将上述要点 的词语扩展成句子。 连 改 联句成文：注意：①主语和谓语 ②背景（适当增加时间、地点条件等） ③逻辑关系 ④开头与结尾 ⑤语篇衔接 检查修改 检查文章中的拼写和标点错误、语法错误逻辑错误等；检查词数是否符合要求；检查内容要点是否全面，删繁就简，使表达更加精炼，措词更加恰当。 誊写工整 定稿后应认真誊写，要求书写规范、正确、美观，并保持卷面整洁。 抄
Practice 看图作文[题目要求]
为迎接高考，你常常复习功课到深夜。请根据下列 图画用英语写一篇日记。
注意： 1、日记须包括所有图画的内容，可以适当增加细节，使日记连贯。
2、词数：100左右。 3、日期已给出。
Sunday，October 13，2003 Fine 1．Discuss with the Ss .
T :Please look at each picture and find out key words . P 1.wake up ,nine o‟clock ,morning Join the words to one sentence .
I woke up at nine o‟clock this morning .
P 2.get dressed ,rush into ,prepare breakfast ,get my school bag. Join the words to sentences . 1).I got dressed.
2) .I rushed into the living room .
3). Mother was preparing breakfast there . Join the sentences together .
I got dressed and rushed into the living room ,where mother was preparing breakfast . P 3. get on my bike , run out , couldn‟t say anything . Join the words to sentences . I got my school bag. I ran out .
I got on my bike .
Mother couldn‟t say anything . Join the sentences together .
Before she could say anything , I got my school bag, ran out and got on my bike . P4. get to the school gate ,to my surprise ,find ,close ,realize ,Sunday Join the words to sentences .
To my surprise , when I got to the school gate ,I found it was closed . Then I realized it was Sunday.
Please change the last sentences into a complex sentence. 1)It was then that I realized it was Sunday.
2)Not until then did I realize it was Sunday.
T: Please look at the suggested answer and read it aloud . Sunday，October 13，2003 Fine
I often stay up late to go over my lessons for college entrance examination．Last night I didn’t go to bed until 12 O’ clock．When 1 woke up this morning it was already 9 O’clock．I got dressed and washed myself quickly．Then l rushed into the living-room，where Mother was preparing breakfast．Before she could say anything，I got my school-bag，ran out and got on my bike．I rode as fast as 1 could．It seemed only a few minutes before l got to the school gate．To my surprise，it was closed．
I t was then that l realized it was Sunday．
Summary:
T : OK ,now let’s make a summary of what we learnt today .
T: In this class we mainly talked about how to write a good composition .Now let’s sum up ways of writing a good composition . （一）.Try to avoid mistakes . （二）．Try to use complex sentences。 （三）．Try to use different sentence structures or complicated structures . （四）．Try to use proper transitional words, They can help to make your composition natural and logical and different from others . （五）．Try to use advanced words （六）．巧用小词、短句 （七）．避生就熟，进行“曲线”表达。 （八）多种表达法交替使用。 （九）书面表达六步法。 T: Please remember :
Rome is not build in one day . Practice makes perfect.
Homework
Please write a composition .
2006全国。书面表达(满分25分)
假定你是李华。应英国朋友Bob的要求，写一封短信介绍你校图书馆的基本情况。内容须包括下面两幅图中的相关信息。
注意：1.词数100左右;
2.可以适当增减细节，以使行文连贯; 3.开头语已为你写好。
June 8
Dear Bob,
Thank you for your last letter asking about our library. Best wishes, Li Hua (在试题卷上作
One possible Version Dear Bob :
Thank you for your last letter asking about our library.
Our library is in the center of the school .There is a beautiful garden in front it and our classroom building is right behind it .The library is big .When you get inside ,you will see many shelves full of books on different subjects .There are also lots of newspapers and magazines .We borrow books and do some reading in the library .According to the rule ,every student can borrow up to 5books each time and keep them for 10 days .It is open from 9 am to 7 pm from Monday to Friday and closed on weekends .
We all like our library very much .
Best wishes ,
Li Hua
2006年普通高等学校招生全国统一考试
英 语
书面表达暑假即将来临。你班同学讨论了假期计划，提出了不同看法，请根据提示写一
篇有关讨论的英语短文，并谈谈你的看法。
呆在家中 外出旅游 优 点 花费少、适方便 增长知识、开阔眼界 缺 点 不能亲身了解外界 花费多、旅途不便
注意：1.短文写在答题卡上的指定区域，词数80-120（不含已写好部分）。 2.短文必须包括表中所列要点，可根据内容分段表述。 3.可适当增加细节，以使行文连贯。 4.参考词汇：跟界―horizon(或view)
*************************************
The summer holiday is corning. Our class have had a discussion about what during the holiday. .
to do
因篇幅问题不能全部显示，请点此查看更多更全内容